Friday, November 12, 2010

Where should I start?

Why are we here? Where are we going? What is this all about?

Well, I guess by the title of this blog and my first post, you can instantly tell that this is going to be a deeply personal blog, lots of mushy gushings on about love and life. So if your not into all that... TURN AWAY NOW! This will not be the blog for you.

On that note I should get into why I am doing this... Telling our very intimate love story for the world to see... Well it's simple really, it's a story that should be told. There are too many stories in the world of hurt, loss, war and hatred. There aren't enough real life happy stories out there, ones that make you believe again, make you want to get off your seat and find whatever you have been searching for your whole life. If this blog is read by even 1 person and that 1 person reads a post and smiles, then the purpose of this blog has succeeded.
This isn't going to be easy as I am hopeless at updating my other blogs... I'm pretty much the busiest procrastinator I know.

Now where do I begin...
Well as in the aforementioned post, now in 8 days, I am travelling from Australia to the United States of America to pick up where I left off four years ago.
US Summer 2006, I had saved my lil butt off to go over to the states, not really knowing what I was going to do when I go there. I had plenty of pals over there already, some I had met, others were wonderful net friends that I had made over there years. I didn't know how long I was going for, wasn't really sure if I had enough money to fund a massive trip like this, but I took the risk, got on that plane and just went for it.
After hanging around with some great friends in San Diego, Orange County, LA and Vegas, I needed to get away from all that Cali/Nevada craziness and get back to normal civilization and visited a great friend in Salt Lake City (Loved the place, it was just magic). After SLC I needed to go see my Jarrod in Denver, he was an amazing friend who I had the biggest crush on and had been talking to for a long time. Me being the curious type decided the best way I was really going to see America was via Greyhound not plane. Yea, I was right, Greyhound sure does show you some amazing parts of that beautiful country but damn the people that travel via Greyhound are scaaary! Not like Australian Greyhounds, that's for damn sure!
After Jarrod and I spent time with each other, I quickly knew that I was in love with him and could see myself being with him forever, but, when you're young and on your first whirlwind adventure overseas, things start to blur and you can't always tell what's right in front of you. We spent an amazing time together, riding bikes and going to dinner, having BBQs with his beautiful family, picnics in the mountains, parties with great friends, amazing hardcore shows, grocery shopping, record shopping, cuddling, kissing, holding hands... Ugh I could just go on and on about how much fun we had together. He would come home from lunch every day to see me and we would just talk and cuddle in his teeny tiny shoe box apartment that couldn't even fit the both of us in the kitchen when we were making dinner. He was... perfect... in every single way I could imagine! His mother even begged us to get married, she just loved us together!

Sadly, yes, sadly I had to leave, my 3 month visa in that states was about to run out and I had to get to Canada to start my working visa there. I was so in love with him, I wasn't sure if he loved me... I thought he might have feelings, but girly insecurities got in the way of actually asking him how he felt about me. Instead of putting it all out on the line, out of fear of rejection, I booked a flight to Vancouver and Jarrod dropped me at the airport 2 days later, standing at the drop off at Denver International, I watched his car pull away. Whilst inside I was screaming for him to come back and beg me not to go. Sadly I wasn't living in a John Cusack Rom/Com this was real life and I watched as he drove away. When after a lot of anxiety filled travel, I finally got to my friends place in Canada, I cried for hours, I cried myself to sleep. I hated Canada. HATED Canada. I know now, I didn't hate Canada, I hated myself for leaving the best thing that had ever happened to me!

After I left, we lost contact, I didn't know why. I really didn't get used to Canada, so I packed up, headed to the US again for a week or so and came back to the small little Sunshine Coast. Australia just never felt the same for me after I came back, I had changed, grown in so many ways and lost one of my best friends. Jarrod ceased all contact with me. I tried for years to find out what happened and even tried to get in contact with his family but I had lost his address. The worst part of loosing him was also loosing his amazing family. I stayed in contact with his friends and even got to spend time with one of them when they were in Australia, she explained that he now had a girlfriend and I began to understand why our friendship had fizzed out.
Then out of the blue a year ago after not checking my myspace for months, I felt the sudden urgent need to check it and only hours before Jarrod had sent me a message explaining what had happened and how sorry he was. I was out of mind with excitement that after 3 years he still thought of me! I hoped we could start our friendship again and then... nothing.

Until now 2010, Without knowing if I was in a relationship or engaged or even married with kids, he took a huge leap of faith and contacted me and there had not been a day since the first time he emailed me telling me everything and how much he still cared for me, that we have not spoken... And he loves me! He has loved me since the day he met me! So now I take another huge leap of faith and fly to his current home, South Dakota. To be with the man I got a second chance with, to be with both my best friend and true love!
We will be spending my first thanksgiving and our first holiday as a couple together, attempting to cook a turkey!
I've never loved someone so much in my entire life... I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be living the fairytale, that I would be the princess, no longer looking at every ones happiness from the outside of a frosted window, just wondering what it felt like to have the one you love, love you back. Now I know... and so do you!

Four years ago...

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